August 12, 2019
How many times have you heard a person ask the following question: How can I improve my self-esteem?
It’s an honest and serious question that people struggle with as they go through life. We all experience ups and downs, but we can’t let that hold us back from being the best version of who we are.
I want to share with you eight ways you can work on improving you self-esteem and confidence.
Keep in mind, even the people with the greatest level of self-esteem have hiccups where they doubt who they are or what they are doing. That’s OK. I want you to focus on what I’m going to share with you in an effort to help you improve your self-esteem.
Quit comparing yourself to other people
This one is so hard for people to understand. Your life is unique and is different than anybody else. We all come from different backgrounds, places, etc. You have to stop looking at other people and asking why your life isn’t like their life. That’s crazy. You are unique. Your life will never mirror another person’s life. Embrace that fact, and be happy that you are so unique.
Fantasizing about another person’s life is a self-defeating behavior that destroys people and keeps them from growing and improving. Focus on your world, your circle and your life. Work on being the best you can be and stop trying to live another person’s life.
Don’t put yourself down
Let me tell you a secret. YOU are NOT perfect!!! I’m sorry to share this terrible news. I’m NOT perfect. The minute you figure that out, the easier life will be for you. With that in mind, know that you are going to mess up. You are going to make mistakes. It’s OK. I mess up typically every single day before I even leave my house. Here’s the trick: keep trying to do better and don’t beat yourself up when you make a mistake.
Too many people see how seemingly “perfect” other people’s lives are and get depressed. Stop looking at people who are pretending to lead “rock star” lifestyles, and realize that every single person on Earth is dealing with “stuff” even if they don’t want you to know it! Believe me, everybody has problems. Don’t get down. Don’t get depressed. Acknowledge when you mess up, figure out to fix it or reduce the level of your slip up and keep pressing on. When you keep moving, you are more likely to get out the mud and back in the green grass!
Think, say and practice positive self-talk
Why would you want to be negative when you can be positive? Turn what most see as obstacles as an opportunity or a hurdle that you can leap over by saying, thinking and practicing positive self-talk.
Change your words, mannerisms and behaviors. STOP using words like: but, can’t do not, fail, impossible, loss, mistake, problem, refuse, stop and unable. These words will STOP you from reaching your potential.
START using words like: benefit, will, when, success, best, progress, value, improve, complete, work and increase. Now, that’s more like it! I like the sounds and feeling I get from hearing those words. They are positive and will “get your mind right” to get things done, make moves and make a bigger impact.
How many times have you been paid a compliment and you didn’t take it well? Think about it for a moment. I’ve been guilty of this. You might respond to a compliment by saying, “it was nothing.” Why, why, why would you respond that way when a person is trying to be nice and praise you? How about just say, “thanks!”
Thank you. I appreciate you noticing that. Acknowledge the compliment and say thanks. Beyond that, you can also pay the person a compliment in return.
Doing this is simple, but too many people don’t simply say thanks!
Use books to change your beliefs and thinking
Do you read? If so, great. Do you read books and articles from media outlets that are informational and can help you improve your life? If so, that’s awesome!
If you don’t, I encourage you to start finding books and magazines that will help you change or improve your thinking. I believe you have to be a life-long learner and that means consuming information that makes you smarter. You can read fun stuff too, but make it a point to read books from people like John C. Maxwell, Jon Gordon, etc.
All the secrets of the world can be found in books. When I was younger, you had to go to a library to find this information. Now, it is at your fingertips. Read to learn, grow and improve yourself! Do it daily. Block out 15 minutes every single day to read.
Spend time around good people
Who do you hang out with outside of work? Who do you hang out with at work? Do these people make you better? Do they support you in your life? The people you spend the most time around will determine where you are going in life.
If you are the smartest person you spend time around, I encourage you to find somebody that is smarter and more successful than you. Find ways to spend time with them, even if it is for a cup of coffee. Find people that will encourage you and push you to stretch yourself. Don’t stay in your comfort zone because that is when you will stop growing.
Find a core group of people that are positive and supportive. Once you have your core, keep looking to add people to your circle that will help you be more successful and happier.
Lean on your positive qualities
Grab a sheet of paper and a pen. Take a minute to write down five positive qualities about yourself. A lot of people struggle with this exercise. Don’t make this too hard. It can be anything. Maybe you like people and that’s one of your best qualities. Maybe you are a great musician. It doesn’t matter what your five are. The point of this is to help you focus on what you are good at and to help you focus on working in areas that you are good at.
Take pride in your character
One thing I want to leave you with is that your character can be your greatest asset or it can be your worst enemy. High-character people tend to be successful. They sleep well at night, and they certainly don’t suffer from high anxiety.
The great thing about your character is that you are in total control of it. You can move the needle up or down in terms of how you operate and treat people. If you have great character, then you will be respected and loved by most people.
Life will test your character in ways you can’t believe until it happens to you. How you respond and react will define the kind of person you are and the character you possess.
If you can focus on working on those eight items, then you will like yourself more and other people will like you more too. It will make your life richer because of the improvement you will see in the relationships you have with people. Please work on these eight items and I believe your life will improve in a number of areas.